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",[419,420,421],"strong",{},"必要的"," 条件","，每 ",[316,425,426],{},"添加"," 一个 ",[316,429,430],{},"条件","，选择的选项就会大幅减少，若是没有 ",[316,433,421],{}," 条件掺杂进来，很可能最终是 ",[316,436,437],{},"全无选择","。",[397,440,441],{"id":441},"选择的能力能通过后天锻炼增强",[341,443,444],{},[312,445,446,447,449,450,453],{},"很明显，选择的能力并不是天生的，它明显属于只能通过后天习得与锻炼的能力，锻炼的方法也很简单：面对任何选择的时候，拿出笔和纸罗列筛选条件：为每个条件重要性打分，而后重新排序；考虑每个条件的必要性，打分只有1和0分，即 ",[316,448,421],{}," 和 ",[316,451,452],{},"没必要的","；第二天再花时间重新仔细过一遍，若是选择的重要性很高，那么就可能重复多次。",[341,455,456],{},[312,457,458,459],{},"凡事皆可准备，包括选择。平时刻意的花功夫去做选择，尤其是在做重大选择的时候，以后就会越来越熟练，真正做到",[316,460,461],{},"事半功倍",[397,463,464],{"id":464},"不选择",[312,466,467,468,470,471,474,475,477,478,438],{},"有些事情是没办法逃避的，比如说：选择。即使 ",[316,469,464],{}," 其实也是选择的一种。我们都是观念的产物，当我们脑中没有这个概念时，即使真的存在这样的事情，你也会对它视若无睹。这也是为什么我们会对那么多重要的事情 ",[316,472,473],{},"无动于衷"," —— 因为之前不知道 ",[316,476,464],{}," 其实也是一种 ",[316,479,318],{},[397,481,482],{"id":482},"别把选择的权利拱手相让",[312,484,485,486,489,490,493],{},"很多人在选择面前不知所措，一方面是没有明确的价值观，另一方面也是因为 ",[316,487,488],{},"不愿意承担选择的后果","，从而将选择权拱手让给别人了（虽然这也是一种选择），而不仅自己则又失去了一次锻炼 ",[316,491,492],{},"选择能力"," 的机会，还将自己的命运也同时交给了别人，但无论这个选择由谁做出，最终承担结果的只有你自己。这个世界上没有谁能够真正懂你，除了你自己，别人给的只能是意见和参考（观察大多数人的做法，听少数人的意见，最终自己做决定），最终下决定的只能是你。",[397,495,496],{"id":496},"保持良好的记录习惯",[341,498,499],{},[312,500,501,502,504],{},"锻炼选择能力是一项长期的工程，不可能一蹴而就，而在这个过程中 ",[316,503,496],{}," 显得尤为重要。这样不仅能让我们避免重蹈覆辙，更能帮助我们整理好思路，从而更高效的利用过去的经验。",[341,506,507],{},[312,508,509,510,513],{},"我们的记忆力不可靠！所以要保持记录的习惯，只要有记录，就可以回顾，就可以反思，就可以改进，就可以提炼，就可以通过不断的雕琢最终形成完善的价值观体系……很多人从来不做记录，是因为他们总是以为自己 ",[316,511,512],{},"聪明到什么都记得住","，实际上我们总是忘掉很多重要的东西，并且记忆力的好坏与大智慧（聪明）并不是完全正相关。",[341,515,516],{},[312,517,518],{},"仔细记录每一个选择的过程，是尽量让我们从选择的循环（你的价值观影响了你筛选的必要条件，而这些必要条件所选择的结果，又最终会影响你的价值观）趋于正循环。",[397,520,521],{"id":521},"别靠感觉来选择",[312,523,524,525,528,529,531],{},"靠 ",[316,526,527],{},"感觉"," 来选择，多半不靠谱。只有一种情况除外：你是这方面的专家（不仅是长期从事在这个领域，而且经历过无数次严格标准的选择，从而将很多选择的必要条件都内化到血液中，成为某种本能了），但很明显绝大多数人哪怕在一个很小的细分领域成为专家都很难做到，因此奢望靠 ",[316,530,527],{}," 来选择的幻想，我们还是尽早摒弃掉。",[338,533,534],{"id":534},"占便宜和吃亏",[312,536,537,538,541,542,545,546,549,550,553,554,449,556,558,559,562],{},"每个人都想 ",[316,539,540],{},"占便宜","，不想 ",[316,543,544],{},"吃亏","。这是正常的人性，但是有时候 ",[316,547,548],{},"一点亏都不吃"," 的结局是 ",[316,551,552],{},"一点好处也捞不到","。在这种 ",[316,555,544],{},[316,557,540],{}," 的博弈中，你就会逐渐明白一个问题：",[316,560,561],{},"什么对我才是最重要的","，有了这样的取舍，才会凸显出某一样事物的价值，你也才能在关键时刻知道该如何正确的选择。",[312,564,565,568,569,572,573,576],{},[316,566,567],{},"有些人之所以没有成长，就是因为’太聪明’了","。一定要警惕这样的现象，有时候为了寻找更轻松的解决办法，而把时间和注意力都用在了这上面，最终导致没有时间和注意力去 ",[316,570,571],{},"践行","。反倒是老老实实按照 ",[316,574,575],{},"笨方法"," 践行的人，最终取得了进步。",[338,578,579],{"id":579},"回顾和总结",[312,581,582,584],{},[316,583,318],{}," 才是人生的头等大事！",[312,586,587,588,590,591,594,595,598,599,601,602,605,606,608,609,612,613,616,617,619],{},"如何定义 ",[316,589,318],{}," 呢？若把 ",[316,592,593],{},"一件事情"," 看作是选择题的话，其中的每一个选项便是意味着 ",[316,596,597],{},"事情不同的发展发向","，而 ",[316,600,318],{}," 就是挑选 ",[316,603,604],{},"你认为值得的方向"," ，然后按照这个方向去发展。本质上，",[316,607,318],{}," 是由 ",[316,610,611],{},"价值观","（价值观即是：",[316,614,615],{},"\"知道什么是好的、什么是更好的、什么是最好的\"","）所驱导的，而 ",[316,618,318],{}," 后产生的反馈，又会掉过头来影响* 价值观*，这是一个循环。",[312,621,622,623,626,627,629,630,632,633,635,636,638,639,641],{},"因此，我们要做的是将这个循环变成 ",[316,624,625],{},"正循环","，而选择十分重视 ",[316,628,318],{},"，是这个 ",[316,631,625],{}," 的基石，即，对于每件事的选择都要好好打磨，特别是那些重大的、关键的事情，它们的",[316,634,318],{},"更需要反复不断的思考，间隔一定时间又要再次过一遍。对于琐事的 ",[316,637,318],{},"，其实也需要仔细思考，这件事情带给自己的收益到底值不值自己为此付出的那么多，有了答案，再去选择它的 ",[316,640,318],{},"……",[312,643,644,645,647,648,650,651,653,654,656,657,659,660,663,664,666,667,669,670,672,673,675],{},"也许说的有点绕，不过我们举几个极端的例子，就能更好的帮助我们理解 —— 世界上绝大多数人，在面临那些重要的事情的时候，往往不愿意承担后果，或者是根本不知道还需要自己还有 ",[316,646,318],{},"，无论怎么样，他们最终都会逃避 ",[316,649,318],{},"，甚至还把选择权交给别人，将自己的命运交给别人来处理，但是最终的后果一定是由自己去承担……他们表面上看回避了 ",[316,652,318],{},"，但其实这也是另外一种选择，即，选择 ",[316,655,464],{},"。所以我们很清楚的明白，所谓的 ",[316,658,318],{},"，就是很多的 ",[316,661,662],{},"选项","，这些 ",[316,665,662],{}," 里也包括 ",[316,668,464],{},"，而无论表面上如何，实际上我们都必须挑选一个 ",[316,671,662],{},"，哪怕是被动的。而我们的选择，则是为这些 ",[316,674,662],{}," 添加必要条件罢了。",[312,677,678,679,682,683,685,686,689,690,692,693,695,696,698],{},"当然，接下来我们要做的，就是好好打磨这些 ",[316,680,681],{},"添加的条件"," 了：首先，它一定是 ",[316,684,421],{},"，即，少了它，这件事对自己根本没意义；其次，它需要按照 ",[316,687,688],{},"重要性"," 排列顺序，即使都在是 ",[316,691,391],{}," 的列表中，也一定都会有先后顺序，即，多个选项都满足了 ",[316,694,391],{},"，此刻就是看重要性高的 ",[316,697,391],{}," 哪一个选项更符合！",[312,700,701,702,705,706,708,709,712,713,716,717,720,721,724,725,728,729,731,732,734],{},"说了这么多虚头巴脑的内容，不妨在此举个实例。",[316,703,704],{},"找另一半"," 算的上人生的几个少有的极端重要的事情了，在这件事情上一定得多花时间和精力去选择，毕竟这件事若是做得好，回报可是巨大的！那现在就应该为这件事添加 ",[316,707,391],{}," 了：首先先看看于我来讲有哪一些条件 —— 外在的有容貌、文化程度、家庭背景、财富、年龄……内在的有性格、表达能力、心胸、潜力……这些条件当然不能囊括所有的内容，况且一万个人就会有一万种条件，五花八门，各式各样。但对于我来讲，什么样的条件算得上是 ",[316,710,711],{},"必要"," 的呢？我观察了身边很多伴侣的结合，无论幸不幸福，我认为他们至今还在一起的原因是：",[316,714,715],{},"因此他们彼此需要对方！"," 当然，",[316,718,719],{},"需要"," 可以是很多的种类：有的需要彼此陪伴、有的需要金钱的支持、有的需要对方的背景和权利、有的只是需要有 ",[316,722,723],{},"夫妻"," 的这个名号、甚至有的仅仅是需要 ",[316,726,727],{},"性","……当然了，很多伴侣对彼此的 ",[316,730,719],{}," 都是复合的，多方面的，也正是 ",[316,733,719],{}," 的越多，彼此之间的感情也才越坚固。",[312,736,737,738,741,742,744,745,747,748,755,756,758],{},"因此，",[316,739,740],{},"彼此需要"," 才是我们和对方在一起的 ",[316,743,391],{},"，只不过每个人需要的都不一样，但总归是需要这个人的。倘若是对伴侣没有任何的需要，那就离分手不远了，虽然导致分手的还有很多的原因。那么对于我来讲，找另一半的 ",[316,746,391],{}," 毫无疑问就是 ",[419,749,750,751],{},"多方面的彼此需要，并且让彼此都成为对方",[752,753,754],"span",{},"在这个世界上第一重要的人","。有了这个必要的条件，让我来筛选选项的时候，就容易多了。不过这个 ",[316,757,391],{}," 也是相互作用的，也就是说，我必须首先做到！",[312,760,761,762,764],{},"先写到这儿了，以后再抽空专门写一篇关于 ",[316,763,704],{}," 的深度思考罢。",[338,766,768],{"id":767},"tips","Tips",[341,770,771],{},[312,772,773,775,776,323,779,782],{},[419,774,768],{},"：",[316,777,778],{},"怨天尤人",[316,780,781],{},"觉得自己运气太差"," 的那些态度，应该早点一被根除 —— 造成这一切的主要原因还是自己的选择能力太差！",[341,784,785],{},[312,786,787,789,790,793],{},[419,788,768],{},"：拥有概率常识的另一个好处是：能够帮助我们避免 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